Rationality VS Guilt.

A couple of weeks ago I had a stranger come to the door of my house and asked to be let in. I was alone and I had no idea who this person was, and I let him in. I thought I should write about it.

I’m one of those horribly awkward people who slide off the sofa like a seal off a rock and hide whenever I see someone coming to the door. One humid afternoon whilst my parent’s were out "running errands" (what does that even mean please?) I was caught unaware by a small man with a briefcase at the window. The dogs immediately started howling and a surge of panic crept through my entire body. I stiffly made my way to the side door – I am no longer given access to the front door as I have lost more keys than I can count – and opened it. It went like this : 

“Hi…” (scared)

“Are your Mum and Dad in?”

“Erm no, they’re not.”

“They were expecting me.”

“Okay well sorry, but they’re not home yet” (starts closing door)

“Well am I coming in or no?”

This is when I began to recede into a slight frenzy. Had I been a normal social 22 year old I may have handled this situation completely differently, but after quickly assessing the man who stood before me, whilst he did not look like a complete and utter psychopath I did notice that he had with him a black briefcase. Bearing in mind I had been bulk watching Vampire Diaries and Prison Break I began to think a mixture of two things. 

1 – He is obviously a vampire and if I invite him into the house I will never be able to get him out.

2 – He definitely has an axe in that briefcase. 

Despite all of this irrational terror, I replied with…

 “Errr sure!” 

...and invited that stranger right in handed him a glass of water and we sat very awkwardly together on my sofa half watching Prison Break and half side eyeing him to see if I could spot any protruding fangs.

Why did I let this man in? Because I felt guilty. I felt an unbearable amount of guilt for making this man wait outside while I awkwardly tried to make a decision. Even though it is my house and I did not know him, I still felt guilty and let him in when he could very well have been 2014’s answer to Pat Bateman. I opened up my home to someone I did not know because ultimately, I was scared to say NO. I cant really fathom why I allowed my guilt to override my rational thought process but it was weird and I hope I learn from it and realise it is okay to say no. A rational thing to do would have been to say “Right let me just call them and check.” But no, I couldn’t even do that. Guilt is a funny thing huh?

-Just a sidenote, he actually turned out to be an old friend of my parent’s who is fitting the windows in our new house. But still, he COULD have been a murderer. Right?