Is this it?

The clicking of keys.

The shrill of the telephone. 

The tapping of a biro. 

The rolling of a chair. 

The sighs that fill the air minute after minute. 

Is this it?

Today, I feel miserable. Not in a "I'm going to bring you down with me" kind of miserable, more of an imaginary woodpecker tap tap tapping away at my head kind of thing. Each tap representing the same three words I ask myself every day. Is this it?

I work in a small office each day as I have done for the past four years of my life. Age group 18-22 has been spent with the same company. And while I have grown a lot as a person, I am still in no way closer to realising what I want to do with my life. I did not go to University like all of my friends did. Instead I took a job and bought a car and discovered my independence in my own way. I have saved more money than the majority of people my age will have saved in years to come and yet this still isn't enough. In no way do I take my job for granted. But I want more. I need more. I need to discover a life outside of the walls of the renovated barn that I have sat in for years that I know all the ins and outs of.

I know how to change the waste toner cartridge. I know where the blu tack is kept. If anyone has any strange requests they turn to me, who will 99.9% have it hidden deep in the back of my office drawers. Permanent markers? Check. Alan key? Check! (Please do not ask how I came to have an alan key in my drawer - I have no answers) I know where the special labels are kept. I know whether they go face up or face down on the printer. But I do not know where I am headed in life. Or where I should even begin.

Travelling is in my sights. At the moment it is the only thing I want. But no one else is in a position to go on the adventure with me. Do I go alone? Do I wait? SOMEBODY TELL ME. Because for some unknown reason, I can't seem to tell myself.

Is this it?